Tomorrow morning I'm going to sign my name on a line at the bottom of a contract and accept a position that I don't want for an undisclosed amount of time in a city I swore I'd leave forever.

Considering what happened this weekend, I shouldn't be complaining at all. I'm so fortunate blessed to have this opportunity, but just the thought of going in everyday makes me incredibly unhappy.

Ugh, I gotta make this work. Am I the only one without a dream or a plan? I just wish I knew what to do!

So I was bored at work and made a list of my

Firsts:

Song on cassette: Here We Go Again! (FM Radio Rip) by Portrait
Song on CD: Money Power Respect (Single) by Lox
Song on MP3: You Don't Have to Call Remix (via Napster) by Usher, Ludacris
Song on MP3, downloaded, pirated: Forgot About Dre by Dr. Dre and Eminem
Song on MP3, downloaded, legal: Life is Wonderful? by Jason Mraz
Song on vinyl: Sugar Hill - AZ (Lifted from my sister's stash)

Movie Rated PG-13: Stargate
Movie Rated R: Jason's Lyric
Movie Film Projector: Fat Albert, don't remember which one
Movie VHS: 101 Dalmations, I think
Movie DVD: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (on Chubby PS2!)
Movie Digital Projector: Some Christian Movie

Console Owned: Sega Saturn, sister had a NES, not my system
Console Purchased: none! all gifts. thanks!

Word: Mom says it was "Money" Dad says it was "Foxy"
Word, N-word, Heard: 2nd Grade
Word, N-word, Called: 3rd grade
Word, N-word, Said Casually: 7th grade?
Word, Spanish: No -> Pumpkin, how you say 'No' in Spanish?
Word, Chinese: Chicken -> Ian, how you say 'chicken'?
ASL Sign: "Our"

Rap Song Memorized: First of the Month by Bone Thugs in Harmony
Scripture Memorized: Romans 8:28
Song, notes: Ode To Joy

Call, to: Jay's Grandma House?
Call, from:
Cell Phone: Nokia Roach by Cricket
Letter Mailed: Ricky Reynolds, 2nd grade?
Letter Revieved: Ricky Reynolds
IM Sent: Kara Claggett
Email: Mom, for testing
Text Sent: Sister? I think

Job (under the table): yeah
Job (legal): CADA Programs
Job (legal) Paycheck: $206, hardly ballin'

Graffiti Tag: 3rd grade, "JAM"
Graffiti Burner:"WSN"
Graffiti Blackbook Entry: "CRESTAS"

Freestyle: 7th grade
Beat Made: 10th grade
Turntable Touched: 7th grade, Techniques 1200

Screenname: Jdawg2051 (retired in January)
Online Social Network: Black Planet
Online Web Comic: The Boondocks
Webpage: Expage, I think I called it 'The Doghouse' (Garbage)

Food Prepared on Stove: Grilled Cheese
Food Microwaved: Hotdog, I asked my mom
Food Grilled: Hotdog, I asked my uncle

Roller Coaster: Jack Rabbit, KennyWood
Water Ride: Kiddy Slide, Geagua Lake

Friend: Moses, Matthew, Mark, Noah (I rolled Biblically in preschool)
Friend, Elementary: Jay Brooks
Friend, Summer Camp: Adrienne ?
Friend, Church: Bobby Tyler
Friend, Precollege: Chatodd or Tim, can't remember
Friend, College: Reese
Friend, Work not sure yet)

.: !Exclusive Content! :.
(aka girl Stuff I didn't originally post)
Crush: Brittany
Fake Girlfriend: Brittany
Real Girlfriend: Kaitlin
Kiss: Brittany
Jump off: Lizz
Scrump: she know

Haha, yeah, TMI. I'll catch you.

So a quick troll around facebook made me a little envious. A lot of my friends are getting ready to or returning to college. For the first time in my life, I'm not prepping for the first day class. It's crazy but I'm so jealous. I loved school and I'm going to miss it. Maybe I'll go take a class at the community college. I dunno.

Excuse me I have to go mail my student loan payment. I'll catch you later.

P.S. I wrote a fb note that I'll be porting over tomorrow