Another quarter has expired. I finished with a ferocity that I longed for weeks prior. It was an unusual quarter full of disorganized, isolated, pitiful funk. Somehow, I was able to convince a handful of scholars including a well known historian, famous flash fiction writer, and JavaScript guru that I mastered a slice of their respective craft. A 4.0 is no longer a mark of excellence. I’ve perverted it.

    I only have two goals for the remainder of this academic year. The first is to squeeze, suck, and drain every ounce of wonder from my last eleven weeks of college. While I’m doing that, I need to convince a company that they need me and want to reward me in large canvas bags of money.

    Given its urgency, I should be doing that instead of writing this but I'm on spring break. My friends and I originally planned to go to Cancun and engage in all sorts of naughty activities but someone’s identity was stolen. We all decided in advance that we weren’t going to leave someone behind so now we’re stuck here in this gray city. Well some of us, others jetted off to England, Florida, and whatever currently constitutes wilderness. So much for solidarity. Tomorrow, we’re (two others and myself) are taking a budget friendly trip to Canada. I’ll let you know if it is worth the procrastination.

    Finally, because I’m weak, I have to talk about girls. I spent a lot of time with the crush from last year working on an assignment for class. Productivity deteriorated into my desperate arguments on how we could’ve been happy together. Defeated, I moved on to bend boundaries with an old resident by spending hours together tangled in her red sheets. Her hands roamed while I uttered everything that bubbled up to consciousness frantically sliding her hands from my jawn. And of course, to make things even more complicated, the crush from first year worked her magic cross campus to lure me in again. Don’t worry. She’s already cut me loose; she got what she needed. Somehow in all this, I managed to show a new girl that I want her to join my circus. Admire me, the P.T. Barnum of Bullshit. The fool reincarnated every minute.